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March 8, 2008
Song of the Day the song was actually Horizon, but I can't find a video for that
Today we went to the New York. Early in the morning at approximately 5:05 am we were supposed to leave. However I was not picked up until around 5:08 am, and that really got me red. Then we went to Wawa, where I got all their magnums. Then I got to sit in the middle seat, which was fucking great. After a while we finally arrived at our destination, Stuckey's. I got a pecan log roll, some gummies, and some boiled peanuts. I plan on enjoying these tasty treats later. Cheeser was scared of the people in Stuckey's and was disappointed that it was not a full restaurant. I don't know what he expected, but he is clearly an idiot for being disappointed in the greatest fucking place in the whole fucking world.
Next we drove on a bit through the amazing state of Maryland and on to the most awesome state in the union, Delaware. Delaware kicked ass. We went to McDonald's for some early mornin et, and I found a perfectly good Mr. Incredible figure in the trash! Mr. Incredible decided to come to New York with us. I got some egg mcmuffins. Cheeser and Muks got steak bagels, and I believe everyone got sick. I took credit for an incredibly stinky shit in the bathroom there, but it wasn't actually mine. After leaving McDonald's Mr. Incredible and I started saying how we felt about Delaware, as Cheeser womited.
After leaving McDonald's we continue on through Delaware. Cheeser instructed us to head toward Newark, but I made the save since he was sending us toward Newark, Delaware. We finally made it to the great New Jersey Turnpike, which allows one to drive through the state of New Jersey without having to be in New Jersey. We stopped at Roy Rogers at the Woodrow Wilson Rest Area, where I enjoyed some cheeseburgers and curly fries. Nobody else et. We also decided that maybe yelling HE'S A NI---- wasn't a good idea in Jersey. We also bought us some new teefus.
Muks then decided to try out his toy GPS which made him get off the turnpike then back on as we headed to New York. Our first stop, which could have been skipped, was Greenpoint. Unfortunately they have done nothing about the massive amounts of Polish people living in Greenpoint, so they didn't listen to the letters I wrote asking the government to send them back. We went and et at this restaurant with knights and shit out front and swords on the wall. I would tell you the name, but it was Polish. It wasn't kurwa, thats all i know. I et a polish plate, should have got the tripe. They gave me a can of coke with a fucking straw. Is it that hard for them to just drink it straight from the can? Then we went to buy liquor. I said nugger right in some guy's face and cheeser thought it was rate funny. We then went to Mukser's car, which he forgot how to get to. We put back our liquor. We went to a shit store that sold polish shit. I found cartoon porn. Cheeser and I went to a toy store, didn't get shit. We went to a grocery store for some sausage that Muks didnt eat. We also went to another store for beer, and got a shitload. Muks got more than he could carry, and kept having to stop. I asked him if he needed help and he asked me to carry Bank Bug's instead. This really pissed me off.
After a short trip through Queens, we happily arrived at our hotel. By that I mean that Muksy's toy GPS sent him to Queens instead of Manhattan, then once we got to Manhattan he couldn't find the hotel. Cheeser and I got out and went to the hotel on foot. Muks finally found it and we got our shit out of the car. After we all pissed we decided we were horny and went to the Bodies exhibit. At the bodies exhibit we saw lots of dead plastinized peoples. I sang "lets all go see some bodies" and one guy laughed. My penis was bigger than one of the bodies, and that made me feel better about how small it is. We also analyzed which area of people meat would be the best to eat, and finally decided it would just be best to either grind it or have it in a stew. The blood vessels looked like cotton candy. We saw what Matt's heart and lungs looked like. Also, I saw a pusser up close. It was weird. The best part of the Bodies was the pickled punks. They were worth the 27 dollars alone.
After leaving Bodies we fucked around at the South Street Seaport. We looked at boats and Muks and I did some modeling. The people at abercrombie and fitch saw my buttcrack and laughed. Then on the way back to the hotel we went to the store for drinks and devil dogs. We were gonna get some et, but didnt. Good thing i got some ring dings. In the hotel Muks made sausage for Bank Bug and Cheeser. Good thing Jess and I didn't want any. For entertainment we watched hit films The Mask and Snow Day, because their wasn't shit on. The hotel room was too small, so I didn't get a fucking bed. I slept in a chair and my legs hurt real bad from it. Thats all I remember about the first day.